Isn't Breastfeeding Supposed To Be Easy?

My personal story of overcoming the challenges... which can help you today!

Let me start off by saying…hang in there! I was one of those moms in which breastfeeding did NOT come easy. I had challenges with my latch, my breast milk did not come in for 6 days (seriously!), and I had bouts with cracked nipples, mastitis, yeast infection, and engorgement. I kept wondering why no one ever told me how hard it was to breastfeed. I thought it would come so naturally, I couldn't believe people actually took classes on the topic. Well, now I know. But I did overcome the challenges and went on to successfully feed all 3 of my sons, each one for longer than 6 months.

The Ecstasy of Birth is Incredible

It was an amazing moment when they placed my son on my chest after an hour of pushing. Although totally exhausted, it didn't matter. I was immediately in love. That special moment is overwhelming and the beginning of a complete life shift.

The next thing I knew, the nurse was showing me how to place my son on my breast to start the bonding process and to kick off the breast stimulation necessary for breast milk production. This was a weird feeling, rather odd.

Later, I would come to enjoy the breastfeeding time with my children but that first moment was just…odd. The nurses showed me how to latch him on and I did exactly as they said. It seemed to work and I was praised by the nurses so I figured I had it down.

Embarrassment Shifts to No Shame

Every 3 hours the nurses would come into my hospital room and have me feed him, even when he was sound asleep. He would start to nurse and then fall asleep. Seemed like things were going ok…but that was only day 2. That night, he was feeding what felt like every 30 minutes, which meant I was up all night. The nurses kept telling me that he was cluster feeding and that it was totally normal. Of course, it wasn't their nipples that were becoming raw and sore! It's amazing how you start off feeling somewhat shy or embarrassed as you bare your breast to try feeding, but by day 3 you are pulling your shirt for just about anyone to see if the latch is on correctly. I was exhausted…and now I was going home.

He's Feeding...He's Feeding...He's Feeding...Again!

Arriving home was exciting. The rocker in the new baby room allowed me to sit and just stare at this adorable little bundle of joy. The cycle was this: he would cry and I would feed him. My milk still wasn't in so it was colostrum and I couldn't tell if he was actually getting anything. The cycle then continued… cry then feed him. It seemed that he was on my nipple for a good 6 hours…and I was starting to lose it.

Every now and then he'd tire out and fall asleep, giving me a short reprieve. I called the nurse hotline and they again told me he was probably just cluster feeding. My nipples were so sore that each time he latched on, I would cringe in sheer pain. I was barely hanging on and felt like a failure. My child never seemed satisfied.

No Milk Stresses Out a Mom

I called my doctor and they asked if my milk had come in. I said, "I don't think so... I'm not sure", which easily told them it hadn't since they said it would definitely be noticeable. Why wasn't my milk coming in and what was I doing wrong?

The stress of having a newborn, no milk and limited sleep took its toll and my heart started beating fast and hard. I called my doctor again in a panic, thinking I was having a heart attack. He listened and then told me calmly…"take a Tylenol PM and get some sleep." I broke down and agreed to allow my husband to feed the baby some formula while I got some sleep. The voices of the lactation nurses and stories from other mom's made me ashamed that I was giving in and giving my baby formula, but I decided at that breaking point, it was my only option.

The Milkman Came That Night While I Slept

I woke up the next morning, day 6, after my first 6 hours of sleep, feeling refreshed. I was ready to take on the world again. And, low and behold, my milk was in... and it was definitely obvious. I looked like I had just walked out of the plastic surgeons office ready to give Pamela Anderson a run for her money. Not only were my boobs big, they were sore. I needed that baby because I was ready to tackle breastfeeding again. Just because I had given in one night, didn't mean my child would not be breastfed. I decided to hide my one indiscretion of supplementing from all the other moms…it would be my little secret.

My son fed on my sore and cracked nipple and I was happy. When he was getting milk, I felt like a successful mom. Of course, I tried to ignore the excruciating pain I felt every time he would latch on.

Who Thinks about Asking for Help?

I never reached out to another lactation consultant until my second birth. Using the lactation services at the hospital, the nurses had said I was doing it right so I didn't think there was any other advice they could provide. I actually, thought it was just me…that my nipples were more sensitive than the average mom. I hated reading all the books that said it shouldn't hurt, because it sure as heck did. Through time I eventually discovered a position that seemed to work better and the pain started to dissipate, though it was never truly "painless". I was on a roll…but there was one more bump in the road to come.

Where's the Milk?

For some reason, my milk was slowing. The baby was feeding constantly and I couldn't seem to pump more than an ounce. My friends were pumping 6 or more ounces. I was jealous when they told me their freezers were stocked full of breast milk. Maybe if I increased the feedings and pumped more, my freezer would soon be full. That didn't seem to work.

Everything I read kept telling me that increasing the feedings and pumping should be enough. I finally found a website that talked about using herbs. I was hesitant to put herbs in my body while breastfeeding but decided it was worth a try at this point.

Milk Flow Upon Command

Once I started using Fenugreek and continued the pumping and extra feedings I hit the jackpot. Of course, a faint smell of pancake syrup from the Fenugreek made me constantly think about eating. What a journey to go through just to provide breast milk to my child.

After returning to work, Fenugreek came in handy along with pumping. My milk diminished when my child started daycare. Even pumping on a schedule didn't increase the milk flow. But whenever I took Fenugreek there was an increase of milk.

With each additional child, breastfeeding got better and I got smarter. I reached out more often to others for advice or help and I was more willing to be flexible and try different options until I found what worked best for me. What I tell moms now is that if you don't end up breastfeeding, it's not the end of the world. Just know that there are resources and methods to help you to do it, if that is your intent.

I'd love to share some advice from my experiences to help you shorten the learning curve and do it without mistakes. There are a million websites out there, each with their own advice. I discovered that there isn't always one right answer in breastfeeding.

What Worked for Me

Here's a summary of my own personal guidelines that may help you through this interesting time:

1. Pump and feed often. If you can stand the pain, keep going regardless of how much milk is coming out.
2. Get help from a lactation consultant that others recommend. It's hit or miss with the hospital lactation team and OB nurses. Some are great and others aren't, and as a new mom, it's hard to tell which one you just encountered.
3. Try Fenugreek, or another safe herb to increase breast milk.
4. Drink lots of fluids.
5. Take your daily breastfeeding vitamin. In all three pregnancies, I could never keep a well-rounded diet to meet the dietary intake requirements for breastfeeding mothers. Who can? Take the supplement to make sure you get the nutrition.
6. Use aromatherapy candles like Lavender to help you relieve stress. Or pick up a good, funny book.
7. Go to the spa and get a massage…it will help you relax. I heard a great saying on "Jon & Kate plus 8". Kate was talking about her day at the spa and she said she went because "the spa makes me a better mommy." I couldn't agree more. One hour of quality mommy time with no interruptions will wash away weeks of sleepless nights.
8. Don't be afraid to reach out and get help or try different things: try, try, try…there is a lot of advice out there. I wish I had reached out to a really good lactation consultant on my first baby rather than waiting until the 2nd. It would have made life a lot easier. I was glad I tried the Fenugreek. The articles on the web had conflicting view points, some said it worked, others said you didn't need it if your latch was correct. There was nothing to lose by trying it but more to lose by not trying.
9. You are not alone: Breastfeeding is one of those "badge of honors" within the mom community. I felt ashamed when I couldn't get the breastfeeding to work and didn't say anything. I had felt like I was the only one with problems. However, when I later started to share my challenges, I found out that so many others faced the same experiences.
10. If you supplement with formula to get over a challenge, it doesn't mean you can't continue to breast feed or pump. Don't think of it as one or the other.